End of the Summer

By Ashley Nelson, LMFT

End of the summer and the start of a new school year !!!

For some, this is an exciting time where they look forward to starting a new school year and what that is going to bring. For others, it causes anxiety, fear, and worry! 

Both are valid and bring about questions on how to deal with the emotions that school brings. 

These questions come from both the parent and the child and I feel like we can answer them all together with some coping skills and practical tips to get your school year started off on the right foot!

Transitions are always hard and sometimes school can bring out fear and stress that can cause a ripple effect in their daily lives. This can then start to show in their behavior, the school work, and how they act at home with their caretakers. As parents, we feel when our child is having difficulties and their stress can then trickle into our emotional space and cause us stress as well! It is best to hit these fears and stresses head on and tackle them when they begin rather than towards the middle or even the end of the school year when they have had time to take root! 

So, let's get started! Here are some tips that will hopefully help you and your kiddo as they make this transition! 

1. Create a solid routine! 

Routines help create a sense of security and can usually help reduce anxiety. When you and your littles have a set schedule and you all know what the morning is going to look like and creates a healthy foundation for the rest of your day and your kiddos day! 

2. Make sure we are taking care of ourselves!

This is going to be a part of your routines and can include naps, brushing your teeth, taking care of hygiene, getting good sleep at night, and anything else that is taking care of you! Taking time out of your day for self care and connecting with each other is going to be key! 

3. Communication!

Communication is HUUUGGEEE. How many times have your kids come home and you pose the question "how was your day" and they answer "fine" and storm into their room? I know how frustrating that is and it can feel like they don't want to talk to you! If we create a solid routine where communication is at the forefront and important in the home, it will create a safe space for everyone to talk about their days and how they are feeling. This will also give space for the kiddos to discuss hardships, fears, and feel secure with their parents knowing they have a safe place to land. 

4. Discuss expectations!

A lot of time arguments between families are due to expectations that have not been communicated on both ends. What is it that you expect of your kiddo during the school year (this is where routine comes in as well) and what do they expect of you? If your routine is going to be homework form 4-5 with the help of one or more parent then great! that was discussed. If your kiddo needs 10 minutes alone after getting home from school to decompress, awesome! that is going to be a part of the routine and an expectation that is met. 

5. Get to know the teachers!

I know it is hard to get to know teachers, especially if your kiddo goes to a big school, but it is so important to know and understand who your kiddo is spending 6+ hours of their day with! Not only that, you now have a direct line to the individual who is experiencing your child every day. This can help if there are behavioral issues, emotional issues, or even academic issues. 

6.Be prepared for stressors!

This is huge. As a parent, we have to be prepared and ready for a lot of things to come our way from our kiddo being in school. Being prepared can look like a lot of things but a couple are: Be prepared for emotion shifts/ personality changes. Have some quick coping skills that you can help lead your kiddo through. And be prepared for school to be hard, annoying, or even stressful to your little one so that you can be a safe place for them to express that. 

Now, here are some coping skills that will hopefully help!

BELLY BREATHING

My fav honestly. You are going to take a deep breath through your nose for 4 counts, hold it for 1 count, and exhale through your mouth for 6 counts. While you do this remind yourself or your little to relax their shoulders, hands, anything that can hold tension. 

S.T.O.P

S= Stop what you are thinking or doing

T= Take a deep breath and step back

O= Observe yourself )your thinking and breathing)

P= Proceed mindfully and positively. 

5 SENSES 

Look for 5 things you can SEE

Listen for 4 things you can HEAR

Find 3 things you can SMELL

Find 2 things you can FEEL

Find 1 thing you can TASTE

this is a practice of grounding

I know school can be hard, but if we are prepared and ready to be there for ourselves and our littles it can make this transition back so so much easier! 

And if you find yourself in need of some outside help, don't be afraid to reach out! It takes a community, a village, to raise kiddos and we would love to be there for you and for them!